The Rules of the Captain Dickhead Drinking Game
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Captain Dickhead is a hilarious game that allows one player to skirt the rules of the game for a time. This invariably causes great hilarity (and consternation) amongst the people. It's an ideal game for that boyfriend character-type who loves to slip his girlfriend clear cards in asshole to prevent her from getting drunk, or, the type who creates rules to increase their chances of retaining power in any drinking game.
Let's check out the rules of Captain Dickhead and the equipment you need to play.
Equipment to play
- A standard deck of cards. We prefer waterproof cards whenever we play card-based drinking games.
- A large cup
- Beverages (we prefer Puppers)
- Optional: A badge, hat, eyeglasses, or something easily exchanged to let everyone playing know who Captain Dickhead is (as if their actions wouldn't do the trick).
Number of Players
Captain Dickhead can be played with any amount of players between 2-52, since there are 52 cards in the deck. In reality, a fun group is 5-7 players. That said, you could technically play by yourself, though always being Captain Dickhead might get old. But maybe you're the rule breaking type!
- Everyone takes their beverage and pours their drink into the communal punishment cup on the table. The amount could range from a few sips to a hefty pour.
- Shuffle the deck of playing cards and then spread them out in a circle around the punishment cup. Cards must be placed face down.
- Pick a player to start the game. If you can't decide who should start Captain Dickhead, flip a coin or throw down Roshambo-style.
Captain Dickhead Gameplay
Play begins with the first player drawing a card and performing the action/steps that relates to that card. That player then discards their chosen card onto the top of the punishment cup with two corners of the card not resting on the cup. Proceed to the next player either clockwise or counter-clockwise, dealer's choice.
Gameplay ends when you are out of cards.
When You Draw a Two
Assign one drink to another player of your choice.
When You Draw a Three
Take one drink of your beverage. Enjoy!
When You Draw a Four
Four to the floor. Whoever touches the floor last has to drink.
When You Draw a Five
A social for all of the guys playing. A social just means that every one in the group, in this case, guys, takes one drink.
When You Draw a Six
Six is for chicks, is one way that people put it. Like drawing a five, all of the ladies take one drink.
When You Draw a Seven
All players must raise a hand immediately. The last to do so drinks.
When You Draw an Eight
Mate/Date. If you draw an eight, pick someone to share drinking responsibilities with you. When you drink, they drink. Unless someone new picks them after drawing the next eight. Then they belong to that person.
When You Draw a Nine
Nine nine bust-a-rhyme. The person who drew the nine comes up with a word, says it, and then all players take turns saying a word that rhymes with the original word in the direction that the game is moving in (clockwise or counter-clockwise). The first person to not say a rhyming word or to not offer up a word within a reasonable amount of time drinks.
An example of nine nine bust-a-rhyme is as follows:
- Player One: Brick
- Player Two: Stick (correct)
- Player Three: Click (correct)
- Player Four: Silk (incorrect)
Don't start with a word that cannot be rhymed such as silver or purple, that's a party foul.
When You Draw a Ten
The person who draws a ten gets to choose a category. The players then take turns in the order of play coming up with original things that belong in that category. For example, you could choose "Presidents" and names like Washington, Lincoln and JFK would get thrown out to the group. First player to not choose a correct item in the category drinks. Also, absolutely no repeats.
As an aside, it's a class move to play "Drinking Games" as your category and start with Captain Dickhead. It gets fun when you make it through the easy ones like Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Power Hour and the like, as you get to see who really knows their college party games.
When You Draw a Jack
Social! Everyone takes a drink. It's actually fitting, seeing as guys drink on 5 and girls drink on 6, as a Jack is the card following Tens in this setup.
When You Draw a Queen
Questions game. Starting with the person who drew the Queen, everyone is required to ask a question when it's their turn. It's their turn when someone looks at them and asks a question. The first player to not respond with a question or who takes an unsportsmanlike amount of time to think about what they should ask has to drink.
When You Draw a King
Kings make rules. Any rule will do. Need a hint? Check out our list of random drinking game rules. For example, a rule could be, "Everyone must now talk in a British Accent". Anyone who doesn't must drink.
When You Draw an Ace
Congratulations, you're Captain Dickhead!
When someone draws an Ace, and there are four of them, they become Captain Dickhead until the next ace is drawn from the pile of cards. You are free to, well, just free. Rules do not apply to you, Dickhead.
You don't need to draw cards. You don't need to drink. In fact, you can tell others to drink, how about that?
Your time as Captain Dickhead lasts until the next ace is drawn. If you're a sharp card counter, you may be able to game the game a bit and increase your odds of retaining your captaincy.
Punishment Cup Rules
- The punishment cup rule is that players must discard their drawn card onto the top of the cup with no less than two corners hanging off of it.
- If anyone knocks the cards off the mug or into the mug, that player must finish the entire contents of the punishment cup.
- To note, unlike most other communal punishment cup games, it is possible to play a round of Captain Dickhead and have no player consume the entire contents of the cup.
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